Happiness is...

Hay…today is exactly the third month of you-know-what, and I thought I don’t need to write anything for today here in my blog since I’ve already told/written everything about that fateful day during my last entry. But I think it would be a disservice for me or even for those who are reading my blog entries if I won’t write something today, hehe. I know it sounds self-indulgent and so assuming of me but this is mine anyways so move on, hahaha!

I was ‘talking’ (Texting actually) to my bex Jaeleen earlier. We had discussions about our past loves, her present loveydovey, the different sweet gestures I would like my future beau would do for me which you-know-who didn’t do, etc. But our discussion ended with her wishing me strength to surpass the sadness I’m into right now, to be patient and just wait for happiness and love to come because true love waits.

But truly, what is happiness? Can it be measured by the amount of money you have in your pockets? Or the gifts that you are constantly showered with? Or the number of friends that you have? Can you find your happiness by loving another person actually? Or by hurting another? Or is it found within?

After all the things that I’ve experienced, especially in the recent past, I’ve learned that happiness is really a very vague concept. You can’t actually judge people as hypocrites if they say the more wealth they have, the happier they will be, because they might have experienced extreme poverty. Some people find happiness either through giving or receiving because they feel their importance by doing so. Some are happy when they are with another person and some are happy being alone. 

Fortunately and unfortunately, I’ve seen all these kinds of happiness, experienced some even. That’s why for me, though it is immeasurable most of the time, happiness is too costly. Not because of wealth or material things, but because some people could only compare happiness in relation to happiness of others. That to attain ultimate happiness, hurting others is inevitable. 

After all the bad events that happened, one of the very important lessons I’ve learned is not to rely on other people’s  happiness for you to be happy as well. Not because you don’t want to be happy, but because there are no assurances that all the things that you gave or the efforts that you did will be reciprocated or even be appreciated enough. That for you to be happy, you must be happy only for your own good. It may sound so selfish, but it’s reality.

“Reality Bites”